Searching For My Big Dream

I am currently reading The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. Although I am just in the first few chapters, it has me thinking. My biggest fear isn't that I will reach for my dream and fail, but that I will never find it in the first place. I know I have a "big dream" still hidden in my heart, but the daily stuff of life seems to have taken over.
When I was a little girl my parents made me feel like I could do anything in the world. Not just that there were opportunities out there, but that I was fully capable of achieving greatness. I went through a ballerina phase, thought acting looked fun, growing older I pondered becoming a doctor, maybe a lawyer, and for the longest time I wanted to be a teacher. My job as a mom lets me do all those things to some extent.
Perhaps my dream is not an occupation. When I was graduating high school I had visions of traveling the world. I did not, however, picture five kids in tow. We seem to get in one trip per year and barely travel across a few states let alone leaving the country. I love the arts. Could it be that my dream could be expressed on stage or on a canvas? I want to help people. Maybe my dream is a service or ministry in need. I sit and stare at the sky, as if my dream will come to me on a cloud.
Perhaps I am already living my dream. I am beyond blessed with five healthy children, a husband who loves me every single day, and a safe home for us to be in together. I guess I have come to the point where I say "how could I ask for more?" And yet, there is this tugging of the heart telling me there is so much more in store for me. I definitely have dreams of a bigger house, but even more so what life would be like in a beautifully organized home. I dream of having a personal chef, does that count?
How can it be that after 34 years I do not know this about myself. Well, I will continue to read, pray, and ponder. I am excited to dig in deeper, also a little nervous at the thought of stepping out of my safe little bubble. I don't want to wait until I have sent all five kids off to reach for their dreams to finally explore my own. The journey continues.

Are you actively pursuing your "big dream?" Do you know what it is but don't know how to take that first step? Or have you, like me, lost it along the way?

Mama's Back!

In case you didn't notice, I took a break from blogging.
When baby number five came along I could not find a minute of spare time and had to put my family first. One of my favorite comedians, Jim Gaffigan, put it well when asked what it is like to go from three to four kids (he now has five) he replied "just imagine you're drowning and someone hands you a baby." That is pretty much how it felt for a bit, but we found our rhythm. I am now treading water just fine and ready to share our adventures.
My oldest son started middle school this year and my youngest recently turned one. We have a fourth  grader, first grader, and preschooler in the mix as well. This provides a wide range of chaos and fun at our house. I continue to work on getting organized, one of my biggest struggles. I have also realized I no longer have the "I just had a baby" excuse and have started to fit a daily workout into my routine.
It feels good to be back behind the keyboard. There have been many moments over the past year where I have found myself saying "I should blog about this," so here I am. I may have to revisit some of my favorites.
Whether you are finding your way back to my page or are a new visitor, I invite you to follow along as I document our ups and downs. There are sure to be some fun giveaways along the way (I know my readers love giveaways) so check back soon!